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News & Blogs Archive

Porn star running for Governor; America once again proven to be best country on Earth

BlogMary Cary, adult film star and owner of gargantuan breasts, will soon be joining the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gary Coleman, Larry Flint, and a 100-year-old lady running for California governor1. Square Haven wishes the best luck to Cary regarding her run for office.

Notes
  1. Yahoo! News

BlogLONDON (Reuters) - "Move over Spider-Man -- mere mortals may soon be coming to a ceiling near you. Researchers at the University of Manchester say they have cracked the secret of one of the reptile world's greatest climbers, the gecko, and produced a sticky tape that can mimic the lizard's gravity-defying abilities. Soon, people could walk on walls like comic-book superhero Spider-Man, the university said.

Sorry, Klingon interpreters, Oregon's not hiring

BlogPORTLAND, Oregon (AP) -- "Sorry, potential Klingon interpreters. Officials have said they won't be needing your services, after all. The office that treats mental health patients in Multnomah County had included Klingon on a list of 55 languages that could be spoken by incoming patients." The Klingon Language Institue1

Notes
  1. CNN

Mr. Rogers dead

Mr. Rogers dead

BlogPITTSBURGH, Pennsylvania -- Fred Rogers, better known as television's "Mister Rogers," a cultural icon and kindly neighbor to generations of American children, died Thursday at the age of 741. Rogers' diabolical evil was surpassed only by the demoniacal acts of Hitler, Pol Pot, and Steve Urkel.

Notes
  1. CNN

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